i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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