Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
