That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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