Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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