tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
