I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
