I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
