I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
