It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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