R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
