HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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