she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
