Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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