I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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