i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
