OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize