She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
