I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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