I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
