I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
