went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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