HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
