At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
