i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
