so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
