No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
