Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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