If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
