Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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