this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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