The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
