If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
only if we run a train.
done.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
