Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
