okay pat passed out under dana's car
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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