I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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