She's JV to your varsity
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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