The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
