So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
