found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
