This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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