If i come over, it means nothing
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
