Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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