i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Come on in and take your pants off
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