I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
