She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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