his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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