I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
