Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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