You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
