Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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