It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
