it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
