yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
