Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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