i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
P.S. I can't hear my feet
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have already put on my inside pants.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
