the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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