Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
