I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
