This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
