If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
