Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
